A Modest Proposition

As the weddings begin to pour in this summer, it makes me think, not on the two people being joined in holy matrimony, but rather the participants, seeing as how I will be a groomsman in one of the many wonderful unions this summer. It's a happy moment for everyone who saw this moment coming for the two people being wed and a bittersweet one for those who wish they would've made their move on either the bride or groom sooner.

But I sense discrimination in all of this. Not that the bride has to do a majority of the planning or that groom does nothing hardly, bur rather this factor: the flower girl. She prances down the aisle spreading flowers every where. And above all, she's a girl.

Here's my modest proposition (because I don't wish for Jonathan Swift* to rise from the grave and sue me): flower boy. I'm not suggesting he put on the girls' dress for this occasion, unless you choose to do so. Don't worry: he and his therapist will be laughing about it twenty years down the road.

But boys don't aren't graceful like girls; they don't know how to handle flowers.

I come with a rebuttal to that argument that consists of a three sets of two words: Valentine's Day. Mother's Day. Birth Day. We've been handling flowers for a long time, and during these times, we're usually being gentle with them. This time, we'll be throwing them, which I'm pretty sure we'd be good at doing.

In short, I think it's time for a revolution, where everybody has a choice to do what they want to do in the wedding. If the men want to be bridesmen and the women want to be groomsmaids, then so be it. If the ring-bearer wants to be a ring catapulter (given he/she has good aim), then let them. The bride and groom already having their fun; it's time that the other participants are given a choice to do what THEY want to do.

I wish to start this, beginning with a flower boy.

*Jonathan Swift is the author of the essay A Modest Proposal which serves loosely as the inspiration for this post. He's the guy who wrote Gulliver's Travels, if you're still lost.